Netflix's Dead To Me is a dark comedy that will have you both cringing and laughing hysterically. Like the first season, season two is chock full of hilarious quotes that you will probably be repeating in real life when the situation fits.
Some of the quotes are actually pretty prophetic, while others have you nodding your head in agreement because you know someone who would totally relate to it (or say it). And others are really specific to plot points in the show but made a real impact. So what were the best quotes from the season two episodes? Note: spoilers ahead for both seasons.
10 "I'm Sorry, Are You The Wine Sheriff? Because I Am The D*** Police And You Have The Right To Remain F*** Silent."
Any badass woman who has been shamed for indulging can relate to this comment. While buying groceries at the store, Jen is told that her card won't go through. The snarky cashier suggests that she just remove some items because maybe the card is maxed out.
He goes a step further and proceeds to make his recommendation, commenting that maybe she doesn't need eight bottles of wine, to which she replies with this clap-back.
9 "You Tend To Get A Little Confessy."
"Confessy," of course, isn't an actual word, but it's totally understandable that Jen used it to describe Judy in this instance, begging her not to reveal information that could get them caught. Because Judy does tend to blab and say things she shouldn't.
Not only that, but she tends to get consumed by guilt and blurts out information to get things off her chest. So yah, confessy.
8 "She Sees The Good In People. Even When It Isn't There."
Again, Jen is talking about Judy in this quote, but to Detective Perez. While Perez seems to think Judy is just trouble, Jen believes that, deep down, she is a kind-hearted, honest, true and caring person.
While Judy is indeed pretty clingy and seems to gravitate to anyone who will give her a morsel of attention, she also does see the good in everyone. Maybe putting blinders on all the time isn't such a good thing. Nonetheless, she keeps hope alive that everyone can be redeemed.
7 "You Know How People Drown? They Get In Water That They Think They Can Handle And Then A Riptide Comes And It Is Too Late."
Detective Perez already had it out for Judy, but after discovering that her live-in ex with whom she was not yet over was seeing Judy, it made things even worse. Perez described Judy to both Jen and Michelle this way.
She called Judy a riptide, which at first, seems far off and just a part of the calm waters, but then bursts in and takes you over.
6 "It's Just Butter. There, I Just Summed Up Culinary School For You In Three Words."
After Michelle surprises Judy by revealing that she is the chef at a restaurant Judy has been dying to check out, she proceeds to cook her a delicious meal. After trying the polenta, Judy's mouth waters, saying it tastes like heaven.
Michelle jokes with this remark, suggesting the Paula Dean method of simply adding heaps of butter to everything to make it better!
5 "I Don't Want To Be A Cop Right Now. I Want To Be A Person."
While driving back to the station after being unable to locate where Steve's body is buried, Jen and Detective Perez have a heart-to-heart. They compare notes about their upbringings, realizing they both had tough childhoods and lost their mothers at a young age.
When Jen reveals how terrified she is about leaving her kids to go to prison, it hits home with Detective Perez and she decides that she wants to let Jen go and be a person instead of a cop, just this one time.
4 "I Guess We Should Talk About What We Shouldn't Talk About Before We Never Talk Again."
After believing that the situation with Steve is done and over, at least for now, Jen says this to Judy, also believing that they can no longer be friends. This is the awkward way of saying let's talk about what happened and get everything out.
After that, the idea was to officially part ways. Of course, that didn't happen. So while they talked about what they needed to talk about, it wasn't before they would never talk again.
3 "He Was Always So Good At Everything, Except Doing The Right Thing."
Ben Wood and his twin brother Steve Wood hadn't spoken in years after a falling out. It seemed that Steve was the successful and arrogant one - the dream child who was his mother's favorite - while Ben never really got any attention and always felt like the lesser brother.
Ben resented his brother in a way, and knew he was always up to no good and making bad decisions, as noted in this quote.
2 "Are You Alright? You Seem Vulnerable. It Is A Strange Color On You."
Christopher, Jen's friend and real estate business partner, was great at throwing shade while making it sound sweet. In this quote, he can tell something is wrong with Jen and notes that, for once, the strong, brash woman looks vulnerable. And he isn't used to seeing her like that.
Jen is always the one with the angry face and potty mouth. Vulnerable doesn't compute.
1 "It's A Gal's Weekend With My Best Friend. My B Fry."
In this awkward moment, while checking into a fancy hotel after burying Steve's body, Jen tries to act nonchalant and suggest to the hotel employee that she and Judy are just best friends having a fun gal's weekend.
But instead of referring to Judy as one of the many common terms for best friend, like bestie or BFF, she says B Fry. Wait, what? Who? Totally weird.
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