Friendship is often the epitome of the 1990s and early 2000s comedy series Sex and the City. There’s the friendship between Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall), and Charlotte York Goldenblatt (Kristin Davis). They’re each complex characters, but for the most part, they’re friends.
However, Samantha and Charlotte butt heads the most throughout the series. They have fundamental differences and they often criticize each other. It’s hard to believe they’re actually best friends. Instead, it seems they’re only friends because they’re friends with Carrie. Take a closer look at their peculiar, complicated friendship and why they really aren't "friends" at all.
10 Charlotte Is Horrified With Samantha’s Sex Life
It’s no secret Samantha has a promiscuous sex life. She has many sexual partners, and she reminds viewers that embracing your sexuality is completely natural. There is no shame in this, and her honesty is often what makes her a fan favorite with viewers.
Well, unless you’re Charlotte. Anytime Samantha shares about sexual experiences, Charlotte appears horrified. She is more traditional than the other friends, but she shouldn’t act disgusted because Samantha is different than her. Samantha should be able to be honest with her friends without worrying about how Charlotte will react.
9 Charlotte Thinking She’s Above Samantha
Charlotte is concerned with social standards and traditional values. This means she never lets her hair down and relaxes. She’s uptight, especially with Samantha. She often thinks she’s above Samantha, scolding her (and Carrie and Miranda) for “saying the F-word in Vera Wang” when they were shopping.
Samantha isn’t a bad person. She's not "beneath" Charlotte. She just has a different lifestyle than Charlotte, and it is sometimes difficult for Charlotte to wrap her head around that. She’s too judgmental, and she shouldn’t be this way with the people she considers her best friends.
8 Samantha Criticizing Charlotte’s Traditional Views
Because Charlotte is the most traditional friend of the group of women on the show, she is often at the receiving end of jokes and insults, especially from Samantha. Charlotte expects men to be like Prince Charming, unlike Samantha. Charlotte struggles to express what she really wants in a relationship, whereas Samantha doesn’t have problems in the dating area.
Samantha laughs at Charlotte’s traditional views and sometimes calls her a “prude.” Carrie and Miranda don’t defend Charlotte, which hurts her feelings. Does this sound like a good friendship to you?
7 Samantha Teasing Charlotte About Sex
Samantha knows Charlotte is squeamish about sexual activities; therefore, she loves to tease her about it. She asks Charlotte questions about her sex life just to make her uncomfortable. Samantha knows Charlotte doesn’t have the same sexual experiences as her, but she shouldn’t poke fun at her friend.
People are different and sometimes, friends have opposite interests. Samantha enjoys sex and even has sex with perfect strangers. That’s not the case with Charlotte. While it’s not okay for Charlotte to think she’s above Samantha, Samantha shouldn’t tease Charlotte about her more traditional sex life.
6 Charlotte Slut Shames Samantha
Sometimes, Charlotte takes things too far. She basically slut shames Samantha on numerous occasions. One of the most memorable moments from the show is when Charlotte asks Samantha if her private area is in the New York guidebook because “it’s the hottest spot in town” and “it’s always open.” Ouch!
This type of shaming is not acceptable, and it’s another reason why Charlotte thinks she’s above Samantha. She also criticizes Samantha for sleeping with married men, even though Charlotte also sleeps with a married man later in the series. At least Charlotte sees the error in her judgment and later apologizes for shaming her friend.
5 Charlotte Lecturing Samantha About Sex
During an uncomfortable lunch, Samantha boasts about having sex the previous night with a man in which she doesn’t even remember his name. She doesn’t know anything about him, but she wasn’t afraid to have sex with him.
Charlotte immediately criticizes this behavior and she begins to lecture Samantha about how sex should be about love. It should only happen between two people who love each other, but Samantha disagrees with this. Charlotte nearly calls her a slut, which Samantha is quick to notice. The two should never, ever talk about sex. It only leads to intense fights.
4 Charlotte Criticizing Samantha For Dating A Woman
During the show’s fourth season, Samantha begins dating a female artist. They go on a few dates together, but it’s premature to call her a lesbian. While she takes the relationship seriously, her friends don’t. They have plenty of opinions, especially the traditional Charlotte.
Charlotte comments, “I don’t think she’s [Samantha] a lesbian. I think she just ran out of men.” This is, again, another critical remark about Samantha’s sexual experiences. While it’s okay to be surprised by Samantha’s actions, it’s insulting to have these opinions about one of your closest friends.
3 Samantha Doesn’t Support Charlotte’s Decisions
When Charlotte marries her first husband, Trey, she immediately quits her job. She relies on Trey to provide for her, which is a traditional, old-fashioned perspective on marriage. It’s the late 1990s, not the 1950s. Women can work and still be married.
Her friends seemed to understand her decision, except Samantha, had a few choice words. Samantha always stands up for herself and she has the courage to branch off and do her own thing. She’s happy with this, but she should understand that not everyone feels the same way. Some people, like Charlotte, want to be housewives, and that’s okay.
2 Samantha Ignoring Charlotte’s Marital Problems
Samantha tends to stick to her own agenda and she often doesn’t change her opinion. That’s her personality and fans love her for her honesty. However, she is sometimes insensitive to her friends’ problems. For example, when they have romantic problems, she advises them to break up with their boyfriend and find someone else to sleep with.
When Charlotte has marital problems with her first husband, Trey, Samantha is insensitive. Charlotte is struggling to get pregnant, and Samantha should know how much Charlotte wants to have a family. Instead, Samantha ignores the problems, which rightfully hurts Charlotte’s feelings.
1 Samantha Sleeps With Charlotte’s Brother
In the season two episode “Shortcomings,” Charlotte’s recently divorced brother, Wesley, visits her in New York City. Knowing Samantha would try to go out with him, Charlotte tries her best to keep her brother away from her friend. However, her efforts fail, and she later finds Samantha in her apartment after a one-night stand with Wesley.
Not sleeping with your friend’s brother is a friendship rule. While Samantha broke the rule, Charlotte criticizes her friend. She compares Samantha’s private parts to the Statue of Liberty—something people must see when they visit New York. Throughout the show, Charlotte isn’t as critical about Carrie and Miranda’s sex lives, so why is it different with Samantha?
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